The Aliens Are Coming!

I’ve been obsessing about where and when I would have my first close encounter of the third kind since middle school. My teacher, Mr. Vice, was a little bit of an alien conspiracy theorist. His bulletin boards were covered with clippings from the National Enquirer, which at the time, mostly did articles about Oprah being fat and alien/Bigfoot/Loch Ness Monster sightings. He spent our four hours a week together showing us an array of videos — “Aliens and the Mayans,” “The Truth About Roswell,” Aliens in Ancient Egypt,” “Crop Circles: An Extraterrestrial Playground.” When I started sleeping on my parent’s floor in the middle of seventh grade (I convinced myself that our back yard doubled as a UFO landing strip, I mean we did live in Arizona) they pulled me out of the gifted program. I tried to push images of flying saucer abductions out of my mind as I drifted off to sleep. My parents told me it would never happen, that Mr. Vice was a lunatic. Maybe Mr. Vice wasn’t crazy, maybe he was a man before his time, or even an alien himself sent to prepare us for his race’s arrival.According to Professor Andrei Finkelstein, the director of the Russian Academy of Sciences’ Applied Astronomy Institute, we will make contact with alien life forms within the next 20 years and that they will most likely resemble us. Considering 10 percent of the planets in the galaxy resemble the earth in composition, it is statistically unlikely that we are the only intelligent life in the universe. Of course, he’s right. And so was Mr. Vice! I knew it! The aliens are coming. My parent’s lied to me. And now I’m too old for it to be socially acceptable to sleep on their floor. What am I going to do for the next 20 years? [Daily Mail UK]

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