The Frisky Readers’ 10 Weirdest Quirks

How endeared we are by your many eccentricities, Frisky readers. Last week, we showed you ours and you obliged by trusting us enough to show us yours. Somehow, I’ve managed to make this sound like a creepy game of doctor. Not what I was going for. After the jump, the 10 most common quirks in the Friskyverse. We praise you for your, uh, specialness.

  1. Assorted strange sleep behavior. My, oh my, we have a bunch of fussy sleepers on our hands. Sleeping with white noise, no feet hanging over the edge of the bed for fear of monsters, feet covered, feet uncovered, no socks, doors closed, covers up, over, or around, pillows, no pillows, premeditated positions. I’m getting sleepy just hearing about all your bedtime preparations. As Jonathan Lethem would say, “Go the f**k to sleep.”
  2. No pooping on vacation. There is a time and place for pooping. For you, dear readers, it is not while you’re on vacation.
  3. Fear of sponges. The smell, the texture, the holding of the germs. You all are major sponge haters.
  4. No email unread, no voicemail unchecked. There’s nothing wrong with being on top of your inbox. I do it too. No shame in keeping your digital world nice and tidy, even obsessively so.
  5. Third sneeze is a charm. Many of you sneeze in threes or more. Is this something you will your body to do or does it just happen naturally? Please enlighten me.
  6. Gum snappers/loud chewers. If we could banish all loud snappers and chewers to an island together, the world would be a happier place for the rest of us.
  7. Freaky eating. Apparently there are proper ways to eat food. Pizza and sandwiches should be eaten crust first. Plates of food with different components should be eaten from worst item to best item. You must take care never to disturb the food ratio. Keep bun to hotdog or guacamole to chip equal at all times. Oh, and Skittles must be eaten in order of the rainbow.
  8. Touch and wash. Holler if certain knobs and handles are off-limits for touching. OK, you got me. I have to wash my hands a million times just thinking about touching a public toilet handle.
  9. Pop and lock. To all of you devoted joint crackers out there, one of my quirks is that the sound of joint popping or knuckle cracking makes me feel queasy. I’ve had to dump guys who were incessant knuckle crackers because I knew we had no future together. My plea to you, world at large: please don’t ever do it in front of me.
  10. Odd and even numbers. Numbers are important. Particularly if they are odd or even, depending on your strange preference. By the way, my morning alarm is set for 7:13 a.m. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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