Quickies: Lindsay Lohan Caught Drinking Again & “Jersey Shore” Gets A New Cast

  • Surprise, surprise, Lindsay Lohan was caught drinking alcohol again! She’s not going back to jail, though, because she was only banned from booze through February. Instead, LiLo has been told she can only have one friend over at her house at a time and NO PARTIES. Now that is a punishment! [Celebitchy]
  • Justin Bieber was allegedly assaulted today by a man outside of Macy’s in New York City, where he had an appearance. The guy allegedly jumped out of the crowd and pushed Bieber to the ground before he got tackled by security guards. TMZ is reporting the man was an undercover cop who was apparently trying to get closer to Biebs, but his guards did not know who he was. We’ll keep you posted as this develops! [Celebuzz, ABC News, TMZ]
  • Hugh Hefner is allegedly telling friends he should have married Holly Madison instead of proposing to, and getting dumped by, Crystal Harris. Um, duh. [Hollywood Life]
  • Courtney Love suffered burns today when she tried to put out her curtains, which were on fire, with her hands. As Seth Meyers would say, really, Courtney Love? Really? [PopEat]

  • Distressing news for Snooki fans: “Jersey Shore” is getting recast with new guidos/guidettes after season five. (Season four just finished filming.) Get your Bump-Its and Mystic Tanning on now, ladies. [Celebitchy]
  • Adele, she of the messed up vocal chords, will be back on tour in August. [PopDust]
  • Kate Middleton refuses to accept free clothes from designers because she’s got principles and stuff. [People]
  • Gabourey Sidibe flirted with Conan O’Brien and showed how she hit on Joey Fatone. Damn, I love this girl, even if she has lame taste in ’90s pop stars. [Bossip]
  • Fifteen books to read before they’re turned into movies. [BuzzSugar]
  • This guy wants to dump his girlfriend because she got breast implants. [The Smoking Jacket]
  • You know you want to see what the inside of Nick Lachey’s bachelor pad looked like. [The Life]
  • Missy Elliot announced she is battling Graves’ disease, which attacks the autoimmune system and thyroid. So sad. [PopEater]
  • The man who impersonated a lesbian from Syria on the blog Gay Girl In Damascus tried to shop around a fake memoir. [Gawker]
  • Sexting pol Anthony Weiner was spotted buying carnations. Really, that’s how you’re going to win your wife back? With carnations? [The Daily]
  • The pros and cons of TV’s best boyfriends. What up, Dylan McKay! [Hello Giggles]
  • Our ladyfriends at The Gloss research the age-old problem, spit or swallow? [The Gloss]
  • This chick’s boyfriend dumped her to be on that cheesy reality show by Ashton Kutcher, “Beauty & The Geek.” [The Hairpin]
  • A brief history of mermaids in pop culture. [Tres Sugar]
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