A few weeks ago, we received the worst press release ever. Fleshlight, the purveyor of fine synthetic vagina-like products for men, sent us a PR pitch about getting dad “the best gift a father could ask for.” We think they were kidding. But we still needed to scrub our brains with bleach, then spray them with Lysol and Swiffer their tiny crevices.
Gather ’round, children, and let’s recap which gifts are totally inappropriate (or just plain weird) to give dad this Father’s Day.
- A Shake Weight. (Unless you are trying to get back at him for something.)
- A subscription to Playboy. Or, worse, Penthouse.
- Ice cream cake, soda and candy for the dad on the diet. What could be crueler?
- Oh yes, this: a fancy steak dinner for the dad who just had his third heart attack.
- Spanx for men. Let dad rub his beer belly in peace.
- Alcohol for the recovering alcoholic.
- Gag gift toilet paper. That’s just weird.
- A gift certificate to Hooters. I know their wings are good, but no.
- A tattoo of his face on your body. Or one of those heart tattoos that says “Dad.”
- The news that he’s going to be a grandpa — but you don’t know who the father is.
Have you ever given or gotten a really inappropriate Father’s Day gift? Tell us in the comments!