Light Yogurt Is Not Dessert

Jezebel is reporting that Yoplait is pulling some ads after complaints have been rolling in that the women in the ads echo the inner monologues of people with eating disorders.

I don’t want to get into that (except to say I really wish the whole planet could get past the concept of “I ‘deserve’ to eat this or that”–we don’t really ‘deserve’ anything, food-wise, except maybe food that isn’t smeared with fecal matter) but I do want to say it’s about time Yoplait is being brought to the floor for another reason: their commercials give the impression that dessert flavored yogurt is as good as dessert, and that is simply not true.I was going to say that nothing that costs you 100 calories could possibly be considered “dessert,” but I don’t think that’s quite true. Some nice fruit salad or a ripe mango can really hit the spot, and I don’t always mind those 100-calorie pack thingies of treats (I really don’t mind three or four, actually.)

I think the real fallacy is pretending that anything that is supposed to taste like a totally different dessert, but in a tiny yogurt cup, is actually satisfying. I am most specifically talking about the pie-flavored yogurts. The best part of any pie, of course, is the crust, so what the hell kind of apple pie are you eating if you remove the apples, remove the caramelized goo, remove the pie, add a bunch of live active cultures and put it in a tiny cup? That sounds like something you’d be forced to eat at the hospital in extremely dire circumstances. Let’s at least just be honest and call the yogurt “lime” or “apple” instead of trying to pretend it’s anything else.

I have no argument though with the “regular” fruit-flavored yogurts, because those taste sorta like what they’re supposed to taste like, but moreover, nobody brags to their friends about how their awesome new diet “lets” them eat peaches or strawberries. Listen to me closely and just trust me on this: unless you have some very specific, legitimate dietary restriction, like an allergy, if your diet doesn’t let you eat fresh peaches or strawberries, you are probably on a stupid diet.


On a final, unrelated note, I have no issue with the part of the above Yoplait commercials where the husband gets all upset when he hears his wife talking to her friend about all the desserts she’s eating because he can’t find them. That is actually the most truth in advertising I’ve seen in my life. If my husband heard me talking about eating key lime pie and apple turnovers he’d start getting antsy as well, except when he realized that I wasn’t talking about real dessert but just yogurt, instead of looking adorably confused he’d probably just divorce me.

This post originally appeared on Claire Zulkey’s blog.

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