I just had the strangest thing happen. About 10 minutes ago, I ran to the drugstore to buy a box of tampons, picking up the latest copy of Us Weekly while I was at it. After I paid, the cashier folded the magazine around the outside of the tampon box and stuck them both in a plastic bag. Then she lowered her voice discreetly and said, “Sorry, that’s the best I can do — we’re out of paper bags.” In other words, “When you walk out of the store, someone might notice that you have just purchased tampons which may lead them to assume you are bleeding from your vagina. I am sorry I can’t do anything to prevent this embarrassment from occurring.” I laughed and told her it was no big deal and I didn’t care and then I bit my tongue and refrained from adding, “Hey, bitches gotta bleed.” Because honestly, I have not been embarrassed about my monthly flow since I was 13 years old and went to buy pads for the first time. In my haste to get the hell out of the store quickly, I accidentally brought a box of adult diapers to the register. The lesson then was, “Don’t be embarrassed about what your body does naturally because if you are, a bigger embarrassment will befall you.” Or something. (Luckily for me, there are no such consequences for being embarrassed about carrying a Victoria’s Secret bag. For some reason, I always think people are staring at me and thinking I’ve just bought a hideously tacky maribou-feathered negligee when, in fact, I was just taking advantage of their five for $25 cotton panty deal.)
Anyway, ladies, are you embarrassed to buy tampons? Does your pharmacy bag your girl corks in paper so no one knows what you’ve purchased?