Democrat Vs. Republican Sex Scandal Showdown: Which Party Has The Worst Scandals?

It’s been a busy few weeks for political sex scandals. First we found out that Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a love child—well, possibly two—more than 10 years ago without wife Maria Shriver‘s knowledge. And then came Weinergate, in which Democrat Anthony Weiner ‘fessed up to sexting with six women, even sending one of them a picture of his … wiener.

This has us wondering—which political party has the worst sex scandals? After the jump, a highly scientific study*.

THE REPUBLICANS
Name Position Base Score Bonus Points
Arnold Schwarzenegger Former CA Governor 10, for carrying on affair with at least one woman and fathering a love child +4 for the possibility of a second love child
Mark Sanford Former SC Governor 7, for carrying on affair with a woman in Buenos Aires -1 for complimenting mistress’ tan lines
Christopher Lee Former NY Congressman 3, for courting a woman who wasn’t his wife on Craigslist -1 for having nice pecks and saying in email to said woman, “Hope I’m not a toad.”
John Ensign Current NV Senator 7, for carrying on an affair with a married member of his staff +2 hypocrisy points for calling for Bill Clinton to resign
Rudy Giuliani Former NYC Mayor, Presidential Candidate 7, for carrying on an affair with a woman other than his wife +3 for announcing his divorce in a press conference before telling his wife
Marc Souder Former Indiana Congressman 7, for carrying on affair with a female staff member
Larry Craig Former Idaho Senator 5, for allegedly soliciting sex from a man in an airport bathroom who happened to be an undercover officer -1 for using the “wide stance” defense
Mark Foley Former Florida Congressman 4, for writing inappropriate and flirty emails to male staffers
Newt Gingrich Former Speaker of the House 7, for carrying on affair with a staffer who was 23 years his junior +4 hypocrisy points for leading the Clinton impeachment movement while having affair himself

Total Score: 67


THE DEMOCRATS
Name Position Base Score Bonus Points
Anthony Weiner Current NY Congressman 3, for sending sexy emails and photos to women who weren’t his wife +4 for wife being pregnant
Eliot Spitzer Former NY Governor 8, for having a prostitute addiction even though married +3 hypocrisy points for targeting prostitution when Attorney General
John Edwards Former Senator, Presidential Candidate 10, for carrying on affair with his campaign videographer and fathering a love child +4 for wife having cancer at the time
Jim McGreevey Former NJ Governor 7, for carrying on an affair with a man he appointed to a government post -1 for sharing that he and his wife had threesomes
Bill Clinton Former President 8, for carrying on affair with Monica Lewinsky that included oral sex -1 for being creative and using a cigar sexually
Gary Condit Former CA Congressman 7, for carrying on an affair with a young intern +5 for only admitting to affair after intern disappeared and not cooperating in the investigation
David Patterson Former NY Governor 7, for carrying on an affair with a woman other than his wife +1 for announcing this right after assuming office from Spitzer
Eric Massa Former NY Congressman 4, for groping and awkwardly touching male members of his staff
Al Gore Former Vice President, Presidential Candidate 5, for allegedly forcing himself on a masseuse +1 for his accuser describing him as a “big lummox” and “sex crazed poodle”

Total Score: 75



*Okay, so this isn’t actually highly scientific. I took the first 10 sex scandals I could think of for each party. I assigned 7s to cases of standard affairs, 10s to cases involving love children, 3s to cases involving sexting, and 5s to cases involving inappropriate touching. As for those bonus points—they’re arbitrary assignments of numbers to details specific to each case. But still, I stand by these results. The Democrats have the worst political sex scandals. Congratulations?

Over at The Daily Beast, curious about the same question, they tallied data and actually crunched numbers from more than 60 political scandals over the past 20 years. They came to the conclusion that while Republicans tend to have a greater quantity of scandals (35 Republican sex scandals, 28 Democratic ones), Demcratic scandals tend to be greater (uh, worse?) in quality, comprising 13 of the top 20 scandals.

But this brings up so many questions I’d like to pose to you. Which sex scandals in recent memory stick out to you as the worst? Should being involved in a sex scandal end a politician’s career? And is it just me, or does it seem like political sex scandals are getting more common. What’s up with that?

Want to contact the writer of this post? {encode=”kate@thefrisky.com” title=”Email her”}!

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