An Imagined Conversation With This Furry Model

Me: Excuse me, I was–

Model: Ssshh! Don’t wake him!

Me: OK, I can whisper. Wait … who are you talking about?

Model: The spider monkey wrapped around my waist. Me: Oh, right.

Model: He has insomnia, the poor dear. The only way he can fall asleep is if he wraps around my waist and I stand completely still for 35 minutes.

Me: Wow. And you don’t mind doing that?

Model: Not at all. It’s really the least I can do for Paul McCartney.

Me: Wait. So this is Paul McCartney’s monkey?

Model: No. The monkey’s name is Paul McCartney.

Me: Awww, that’s the cutest monkey name ever! Can I feed him a bite of my cheeseburger?

Model: Don’t be silly. Spider monkeys are frugivores.

Me: You might be the most intriguing person I’ve ever met.

Model: Have you ever met Paul McCartney?

Me: The monkey?

Model: No, the man.

Me: Sure haven’t.

Model: Well you should. He’s a very intriguing person.

Me: I will definitely keep that in mind.

[Fur-Trimmed Blazer, $627, Shopbop]