Last week we discussed some bedroom moves that we consider to be poor sex etiquette. Frisky readers responded by telling us some of their least favorite sexual behaviors. After the jump, some more sexytime faux pas according to the Friskyverse. Keep them coming (pun intended) in the comments.
- Passing out/getting out of bed the second boning is over. Just wait one damn second before popping out of bed to pee or passing out. Unless the condom broke, there is no excuse to be running away like the bed’s on fire. And unless you are narcoleptic, you can stay awake for 30 seconds to say goodnight.
- No foreplay. Foreplay exists for a reason; to get us turned on before doing the deed. Gotta start the engine if you want the motor to run.
- Making fun of body parts/body hair. We are not 12. If you don’t like our pubic hair, think of a mature and appropriate way to express it. Puh-lease.
- Moving to the couch in the middle of the night. Come on, soldier. You can make it through one night in your bed with us there.
- Not discussing spending the night. It’s important to know if we are or are not spending the night together. We have jobs we need to get to (and can’t show up to work tomorrow in the same outfit two days in a row). Let’s not make things awkward by neglecting to decide in advance whether or not we are sleeping over.
- Ripping clothes, expensive or inexpensive without permission. Even if our panties are from Target — [Writer's note: I have lots of undies from Target that I happen to love.] — that does not give you permission to rip them without consent.
- Checking your phone during intimate moments. Lord help the man who checks a text message in the middle of coitus for he shall experience our wrath.
- Rough thrusting. Be reasonably gentle on our ladyparts unless we express otherwise. A broken vagina can’t have sex with you.