5 Pet Peeves That Make Me Really Stabby

I think of myself as a fairly laid-back person — usually it takes a lot to really irritate me. (Maybe it’s because I grew up in California and all the secondhand pot smoke has made me permanently mellow, or something?) That said, there are a few things that really chap my ass that I find kind of fun to bitch about. After the jump, five relatively minor things that bug the crap out of me — share your peculiar irritations in the comments! It’s Friday — let’s purge!1. When I ask if a place serves iced coffee and they say yes and then give me hot coffee over ice. You know what hot coffee over ice turns into in about three minutes? Lukewarm, weak coffee. Not cool.

2. When I stumble or trip and a stranger responds by saying, “Be careful!” I find it rude. It’s too late for that! I’m already fallen. I’ve already succeeded in looking clumsy and stupid. Unless you have a Delorean you want to loan me, I cannot go back in time and “be careful.” In the future I could be more careful, I suppose, but you are a stranger and likely won’t be around to see it. I prefer someone asks, “Are you okay?” when I trip or stumble. It’s nicer and not as chastising. Or just don’t acknowledge my clumsiness — that would be fine too.

3. Moaners and groaners in yoga class. Earlier this week, in a relatively mellow yoga/meditation class, the guy practicing next to me spent the entire hour and a half moaning and groaning his way through every pose. It was like he was ejaculating over and over again. I know it’s not very zen of me to be silently loathing a fellow yoga practitioner, but you are also not supposed to bring your own soft-core porn soundtrack to class.

4. People on the 2nd floor who press the down elevator button and then when it doesn’t come right away, take the stairs. Because I live on the 10th floor and have to take the elevator and if you press the button and then take the stairs, the elevator still stops at your stupid floor. For the love of god, you’re headed downstairs. The stairwell is next to the elevator. Believe me, I understand being lazy sometimes, I condone it, but taking the elevator DOWN one flight when stairs are an option is just ridiculous. I will give you stink eye if you actually stick around for the elevator and get on with me. Mark my words.

5. Rudeness towards people who work in customer service. Yesterday, I had to go to the Apple store to replace my laptop. While I was waiting patiently, I witnessed a couple from Sweden, who were standing next to me, verbally assault the young woman who was helping them. The man was chewing her out for not smiling enough while she was helping him. I kid you not. He also said, “I have been to the Apple store in Japan and the workers there are always smiling. You are not smiling!” He went on to assert that American customer service, in general, was not up to his high standards. Now, I saw the entire interaction, from start to finish, and can testify in the court of public opinion that she was being perfectly gracious and helpful, while he was being an enormous cock.

Phew. Felt good to get that off my chest. Now I can start the weekend with only positivity in my heart. Join me! Rant about your personal pet peeves!

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