Check Out The First 3 Minutes Of “True Blood” Season 4!


For the last month, I’ve been getting my soft-core porn fix from HBO’s “Game of Thrones,” that nerdy show based on a series of books beloved by nerds like our own John DeVore. It has the same appeal for me as, say, a V.C. Andrews novel did when I was 13 and just learning to masturbate. There’s wordy purple dialogue and lots of nudity and, oh, yeah, incest between an attractive blonde brother and sister. Sunday’s episode featured lots of tits, anal play and a noticeable lack of merkins considering the show is supposed to take place well before Gillette was invented. Anyhoo, the main problem with the sex on “Game of Thrones” is that, well, save a few hotties, the dudes are not very attractive. That’s why I am so excited for “True Blood” to return on June 26 — thanks to rampantly naked Vampire Eric (played by Alexander Skarsgard), the summer is gonna get a whole lot hotter. Above, the first three minutes of the season four premiere. Are you horny, er, psyched for “True Blood” to return? [Buzzfeed]

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