Last week, Sarah Ferguson announced on “The Oprah Show” that her daughter Beatrice would be putting her crazy lady octopi fascinator up for sale on eBay, and that proceeds would benefit UNICEF. The auction doesn’t end until May 22, but bids are already up to more than $30,000. So what might one do if you won the famous fascinator? Well, you’re going to want to get a lot of use out of it, obvs. For $30,000, it better do my taxes and clean the litter box. I’ve come up with some creative uses for Beatrice’s hat after the jump.

A baby hula-hoop. (You don’t already have a baby hula-hoop?)

A man-junk holder!
What would you do with Beatrice’s hat?
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