Dear Wendy Updates: “Friendless In High School” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Friendless in High School,” who moved to a new school two years before graduation and hadn’t made any friends other than her boyfriend. She had grown so used to having him as a safety net, she wasn’t even sure whether she’d be able to go away to college without him. “My single self would probably be really mad at me right now for considering making this decision depending on my “high school sweetheart,” but on the other hand, I’m afraid of not finding new friends again, so I would like to have some kind of safety.” After the jump, find out if she’s still as lonely as she was when she wrote in and whether she’s still basing her college decision on her boyfriend.Dear Wendy: “Should I Move On From My Mentally Ill Girlfriend?”

First of all, I want to thank you for answering my letter and realizing my problem was not whether or not to move, but about my social situation. At first, I was a bit offended that you and many of the Frisky-ers seemed to assume that I only sat at home feeling sorry for myself. Part of me probably still does, so I want to clarify the situation. I was doing cheerleading for a year, but I had to stop due to a really bad injury. I am still friends with the girls I made there, but we all live fairly far apart, since cheerleading is a very rare sport where I live. When I said “my boyfriend drags me places” it was usually birthday parties or small house parties I was not invited to. I wouldn’t usually attend these if I wasn’t clearly invited — it just makes me feel uncomfortable.

During the period, I was having a rather rough time: three people close to me passed away and my usually excellent schoolwork dropped underneath my standard. All in all, I just felt awful and my mum actually made me go to therapy (which is, where I live, a more drastic step than in the US — at least from what I’ve heard). Letting my mum see me like this made me realize I had to change something, and I gladly took your advice. I made a mental list of where I could put myself out there more. My school doesn’t have any extra-curriculars and all of the people in my class are at least two years older than me (I skipped two grades). This makes it hard to go out with them most of the time, since they all like clubbing and well, I’m not of age yet. I thought maybe I could ask someone to see a movie or something along those lines, and as soon as I loosened up, I actually got invited places, even cozy little girls’ nights in.

Some of the commenters guessed that I live in a pretty small town where everyone has known each other since they where born in the same labor ward, and I now accept that these friends here will not be those “best friends for life” I have in my old hometown. I am, however, enjoying the time I can spend with them until we part ways in fall. Back to moving: I will definitely be moving to another city this fall. My boyfriend is applying for architecture school in the same town, but only amongst others. If he doesn’t get in — his school work isn’t going too well at the moment — this will not keeping from following my dream, especially since I have found the perfect course for me — North American studies! I am really excited and hope that, as some of the commenters promised, everyone is looking for friends at university since everyone is new!

Thank you so much for telling me what I needed to hear! It made my last year in this city extremely more enjoyable.

Thank you for the update. I’m so glad to hear things are looking up for you. Good luck at college next year. I think you’ll really enjoy it and find it much easier to make friends!

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If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.