Sweet Jealous Vs. Crazy Jealous: A Primer

As just about any episode of “Jersey Shore” can prove, there’s nothing more poisonous to a relationship than unbridled jealousy. (*cough* Ronnie and Sammi *cough*) Nothing is quite so off-putting as the insecurity that makes you not trust someone — or makes your partner think you can’t be trusted.

But let’s be honest: sometimes a little jealousy is appreciated. It shows he cares! I thought it was totally adorable last week when the dude I’m dating confessed to a bit of seeing green. We were at a party playing air hockey when a platonic male friend/former coworker of mine walked in. I stopped air hockey for a second and greeted my buddy warmly with a hug. Later on, my dude told me he felt a little twinge of jealousy watching me hug another guy (even though he knows we’re just friends). I thought, Aww, that’s silly — but cute that he cares! Even if jealousy isn’t always rational, it can be kind of sweet.

After the jump, a primer on “sweet jealous” versus “crazy jealous” — an important distinction:“Sweet” jealous is when …:

  • …a guy feels a tinge of jealousy when he sees you enthusiastically hug your platonic guy friend.
  • …a guy asks you where you are.
  • …he jokingly tells you to have fun without him and frowns when you leave.
  • …he asks who is on the phone or who texted because he is sincerely curious.
  • …he tells you that your guy friends should be jealous of him for being with a great girl like you.
  • …he gets slightly possessive — like putting his hand on your lower back or arm around your shoulders — when another guy checks you out.
  • …he checks out your Facebook page or Twitter feed to see what you’re up to.
  • …he playfully asks if some of the fabric is missing on your miniskirt (a la Daniel Cleaver in “Bridget Jones’ Diary”).

“Crazy” jealous is when …

  • …when he guilt trips you for going to a bar without him because obviously you are going to have sex with other dudes there.
  • …he asks where you are and shows up there unannounced to check up on you.
  • …he tells you to have fun without him and means it in a passive-aggressive, whiny, why-would-you-ever-want-to-hang-out-with-anyone-but-me? way.
  • …listens in on your phone calls or reads your emails or texts.
  • ….he implies the only reason your guy friends want to spend time with you is to try to get you in bed.
  • …he punches a guy who checks you out.
  • …stalks your Facebook or Twitter pages and asks you questions about all the dudes who write on your Wall or at-reply you.
  • …gets into an argument with you about how your outfit is “skanky.” (Hello, control freak! I’m dumping you in five … four … three …)

What are some other examples of “sweet jealous” versus “crazy jealous”?

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