An Imagined Conversation With This Model

Me: Hey, are you wearing those stick-on bra cups?

Model (who just happens to be Holly Madison): Yep! Aren’t they cute?

Me: Well, I’m not sure if cute is the right word…Model: Really?

Me: Unless you also think chicken cutlets are cute.

Model: So, you don’t like them.

Me: No, no, they’re fine. I’m actually just jealous. I’ve always wanted to wear those, but my boobs are way too big.

Model: I guess they’re not very supportive.

Me: Yeah, me wearing a stick-on bra cup would be like setting a yarmulke on top of one of those giant jello molds from the ’70s.

Model: That’s a really upsetting image.

Me: Can we talk about why you’re wearing them on the outside of your dress?

Model: I like them better this way. It spices up the whole look. Adds a pop of color.

Me: I don’t think tan bra cups count as a pop of color.

Model: But it’s sexy! Right?

Me: Ummmm … again, if you’re into chicken cutlets.

Model: I guess I am.

Me: Hey, more power to you.

[Sexy cutlet dress from Ami Clubwear]