So, you know, I have a boyfriend now. It’s pretty awesome. I’m psyched. I’m happy. I must be radiating blissfully coupled up vibes into the stratosphere because in the last two days, three dudes with whom I have had serious romantic feelings for, hooked up with and/or dated have come out of the woodwork after a lengthy absence and have tried to bark up my tree. It’s like Cupid’s Evil Cousin whispered in their ears, “Amelia is happy, fulfilled, and no longer interested in dating or DTF — don’t you suddenly want to give her a shout?”First, I got an email from a guy I dated about, oh, six months ago. We stopped hanging out because he was not emotionally available and, apparently, the fact that I seemed too “together” kind of inspired him to focus on bettering himself. The way he put it at the time: “You’re a girl with great skin and I’m a guy with pimples.” Or something. Anyway, very nice guy, no hard feelings, yadda yadda. Anyway, this week, he forwarded me an email about a deal on guitar lessons (he saw that I bought a ukulele on Facebook) and then flirtatiously invited me to go to Jamaica with him.
Then, this morning, an IM from a guy I met through some friends and then shared a rental car with for a trip upstate during the summer. He had a girlfriend. When he came on to me suddenly, late at night, I was so surprised — and had been innocently crushing on him from afar — that I went for it. (We didn’t sleep together, for the record, but regardless, it was a bad decision and one I sincerely regret.) Since then, he went MIA when it came to paying me back for his part of the rental car and then defriended me on Facebook, a diss so pointless and insulting, I decided the $150 he owed me wasn’t worth any more of my time. His IM this morning informed me he and his GF had broken up awhile ago and, oh yeah, he had thought about the night we spent together often and that’s why he had unfriended me, because he just couldn’t take the temptation. And, oh yeah, could he finally pay me back and BTW maybe we could hook again? No, we cannot. Somehow I doubt I will ever see my $150, which shall remain a pricey reminder of why I should never, ever hook up with a guy with a girlfriend again.
And finally, an email just an hour ago from the guy I loved from the time I was 12 until I was, oh, 20. He’s older and I never told him how I felt; whether he figured it out, I don’t know. Though we’re still friends, we go long stretches of time without talking; he’s one of those people I will probably always know, but how well I know him will vary over time. Anyway, he sent me a nice email with a few of his short stories attached, saying he would love to hear what I thought of them, which is flattering and cool. But then he signed it “missing you” which, Really? You are? I’m not saying there was any hint of more than platonic feelings hovering in those two words, but the point remains, he is the third person with whom I have either entertained or engaged in sexual/romantic scenarios with to contact me in less than three days.
Seriously, what does Eau de “She’s Taken, Suddenly I Give A S**t” smell like? It must be something yummy, right?
I’m not alone. A friend of mine has been exclusively dating someone for the last month and just after she decided she wanted to focus on developing something with him, four dudes she’d been romantically involved with in the past contacted her on the same day to ask her out. We’ve all heard the saying, “When it rains, it pours,” but this is something different. I’m not available. I’m happy. I’ve got my eyes locked on one person and one person only. I’m not interested in frolicking in the rain with no umbrella, dammit!
Has this happened to you? And guys, seriously, have you ever found yourself suddenly, inexplicably interested in someone again, only to discover that they’re now totally unavailable? Is this Cupid’s Evil Cousin’s handiwork or can you just smell a suddenly unavailable woman from a mile away? Hey, maybe this is a gender-less thing — guys, have you had women you were once interested in suddenly knocking down your door the second you hitched your wagon to someone else? Discuss!