An Imagined Conversation With This Neiman Marcus Model
Me: Umm, excuse me?
Me: I’m sorry, it’s just that I couldn’t help but wonder what you’re doing…Model: Step aerobics. What does it look like?
Me: That’s actually the problem: it does look like you’re doing step aerobics.
Model: And your point?
Me: Well, first of all, you’re wearing high-heeled sandals.
Model: Aren’t they fabulous?
Me: Absolutely, but wouldn’t sneakers have been a more sensible choice? Those can’t be good for your ankles.
Model: Oh, don’t you worry about my ankles. I grew up on a dairy farm. My bones are as strong as Wolverine’s.
Me: Like, Wolverine from X-Men?
Model: Of course.
Me: Okay then. But I couldn’t help but notice that those are Tory Burch sandals. Those cost you, what, 500 bucks?
Me: Right. So here’s the thing: if I owned a pair of $500 sandals, I would keep them in a bulletproof glass case and only take them out for very special occasions.
Model: Like step aerobics?
Me: Like a lunch date with the President.
Model: What about dairy farming?
Me: (Sigh) Sure. Why not.