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Quickies: Is Tiger Woods Dating A 22-Year-Old?

  • Tiger Woods is reportedly dating a 22-year-old blonde named Alyse Lahti Johnston. She’s the daughter of St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Jeff Lahti and step-daughter of a big whig at IMG, the agency that represents the horny golfer. Alyse Johnston was busted for a DUI last year, but when she’s not posing for mug shots, she likes to hang out with Tiger on his yacht and attends Northwood University in West Palm Beach, Florida. For half the year, Alyse’s family lives in Windermere, the same exclusive community where Woods and his ex-wife Elin Nordegren once lived. Good luck with that, kids! [Daily Mail UK, RadarOnline]
  • Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn: definitely schtupping. Someone want to explain this to me? I don’t get it. [X17online.com]
  • Natalie Portman has joined the “lady celebs with hacked email accounts and leaked photos” club. [The Superficial]
  • The cover for Mindy Kaling’s book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), out in November, is adorbs. [NYmag.com]
  • Martin Sheen has finally spoken out about his son Charlie’s many problems. “You know, Charlie’s 45 years old. He’s not a kid,” Martin Sheen told the UK’s Telegraph newspaper. “Emotionally he still is. Because when you’re addicted, you don’t grow emotionally. So when you get clean and sober you’re starting at the moment you started using drugs or alcohol. You’re emotionally crippled.” With all due respect President Bartlett … yeah, no s**t. [Oh No They Didn't!]
  • Rebecca Black has truly made it: Nick Jonas covered her song, “Friday,” at a charity concert this weekend. [Celebuzz]
  • Julie’s boyfriend, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, has been cast in “The Dark Knight Rises” as something called the Holiday Killer. [PopEater]
  • Chord Overstreet showed Ellen his manties! Also, his siblings have names like the Palin kids. [Oh No They Didn't!]
  • “Teen Mom” Maci hung out this weekend with, um, Teen Dad Gary. Hilariously, Oh No They Didn’t! titles this post “Amber Portwood Throwdown Watch 2011.” [Oh No They Didn't!]
  • Wyclef Jean claims he was shot in the hand while exiting a car as he campaigned during Haiti’s elections, but police say he cut his hand on a piece of glass. [New York Daily News]
  • HBO is developing a miniseries about Dick Cheney (in addition to a separate project that will star Julianne Moore as Sarah Palin). [NYmag.com]
  • Designer Hayden-Hartnett is putting out a “Pirates of the Carribbean”-themed collection? Pass, thanks. [The Gloss]
  • Here’s six ways living like a cast member of “Jersey Shore” could be bad for your health. Wait, there’s only six? [Bliss Tree]
  • How to congratulate a friend on her engagement without acting like a jackass. [The Hairpin]
  • Knut the polar bear: a sad (and adorable) retrospective. [Crushable]
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