What Kind Of Parent Would Give Their Kid This Slutty Wolfwoman To Play With?
Toy companies have made it easy for Child Protect Services: just park at Toys ‘R Us near the slutty wolfwoman doll and snag whomever’s hand in the beartrap of poor decisions. Much like Barbie, Mattel‘s Monster High doll, Clawdeen Wolf, sports a lush head of hair, a fur-lined jacket, and the shortest of miniskirts. But it’s Clawdeen’s grooming habits that are questionable for little tykes. “My hair is worthy of a shampoo commercial, and that’s just what grows on my legs. Plucking and shaving is definitely a full-time job but that’s a small price to pay for being scarily fabulous!” trills the copy on Clawdeen’s box, which also mentions her pasttimes include “waxing, plucking and shaving.” Did I mention Clawdeen Wolf is for ages six and up? Just make sure to wipe the Nair off the pacifier before you pop in back in baby’s mouth, mommy.