• Relationships

How To Ask A Girl Out On A Damn Date

The other night I went on one of the best dates I’ve been on in years. Why? Well, aside from Mark* being sexy, sweet, fun, and considerate, he did something that absolutely knocked my socks off — he took all the hassle out of making plans. God bless this man! Making plans should be easy. But for the past few years of dating, I’ve found it increasingly difficult. Why should it be like pulling teeth? Isn’t dating supposed to be fun? I was starting to think that maybe my expectations were out of line, but Mark restored my faith. He put all those other putzes shame. Mark should travel the world and give seminars about the proper way to ask a girl out on a damn date. But until then, I’ll tell you what he did oh-so-right. Take notes, guys.Initial Email. Mark emailed me the day after I met him. Some girls prefer a phone call, but I’m personally not a fan of talking on the phone, so I was satisfied with digital communication. It’s always nice to hear from someone you’re interested in right away. Screw the three day rule, or whatever it is. Feel free to reach out to me the next day; if I like you, I’ll like that. While I was excited to get Mark’s email, I was even more thrilled when he asked me, “What are next couple of days looking like for you?” Bingo! He let me know he wanted to see me soon and left the door open for me to tell him what time would work for me. I can’t tell you how many cat and mouse games I’ve played with guys who are “so busy for the next month” or want to hang “sometime.” If you can’t make time this week to have a glass of wine or a cup of coffee, then we have others issues to deal with. Specifically, issues I don’t have time for.

Confirmation. Once Mark and I had agreed upon a day and a time — it only took two additional email exchanges, huzzah! — he told me he would be in touch the day of our date via text. Oh, how I loved that statement. He took all the anxiety out of the process by letting me know when I would hear from him. My life is busy and I’m a planner, so I appreciate not having to wonder whether or not I do in fact have a date that night, or whether I should plan to squeeze in a spinning class at the gym instead.

Day Of Contact. The only thing better than a reliable man is a reliable man talking about wine. Just as he promised, Mark texted me the morning of our date, “Hope you’re having a great day. Do you drink red wine?” Um, YES! I do drink red and thank you for asking, sir!

Choosing Location. After Mark confirmed that I was indeed a fan of red wine, he texted me back and told me where we were going, address included. I couldn’t believe it. I thought I was in an episode of the “Dating Twilight Zone.” Just about the hottest thing a guy can do — in my opinion — is pick a place. Not that I mind picking or even suggesting a place, in fact, I’m really good at it. But as I said before, I am a planner. I spend too much time scheduling, planning, picking places for my friends and I to meet. When a man can plan our date, it lets me know that he can keep up with me. As I was on my way to meet Mark, I felt relaxed and taken care of. That really should be the only way to start a date, don’t you think?

Consideration. One final note here. Everything Mark did was spot on, but there was one more thing that earned him extra credit. He was considerate. The restaurant we ate at was BYOA, so he showed up with a nice bottle of red (be still my beating heart). His consideration, however, extended further than the Malbec. He chose a restaurant that was close to my office AND he waited outside for me until I arrived. I would have been perfectly fine if he hadn’t done either of those things, but the fact that he did, let me know that he was the kind of guy who would give a crap about how I felt. A guy who gives a crap about how I feel is a guy who I want to go on another damn date with. Mark didn’t waste any time asking me out again. Before dinner was over, we had date number two scheduled for Tuesday.

* Name has been changed

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