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John Travolta’s Baby Will Destroy Us All

At only two months old, John Travolta and Kelly Preston’s new baby Ben was already flying planes back in January. Since then he’s taught himself the piano and will probably move on to advanced military strategies if I’m reading this right. “Extra” reports:

“The baby was playing this tiny piano we got him, and we were so blown away!” Preston said. “A lot of times kids will bang it, but he was using his fingers.”

While Scientologists have a long-documented history of pulling shit straight out of their ass (See: The New Yorker exposing the church’s penchant for rampant forgery including L. Ron Hubbard’s military records.), I think it’s safe to say we’re witnessing the early years of their new Messiah. I mean, Christ, he’s flying planes and playing pianos at barely half a year old! Read more…

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