- You can’t make this stuff up: Alan Simpson, the former senator of Wyoming (i.e. an old white dude), was on Fox News and called rappers Eminem and Snoop Doggy Dogg by their it-is-hereby-decreed-new-names, Enema Man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog. DYING. [Dlisted]
- Father Of The Year Michael Lohan plans to divebomb his daughter Lindsay at court tomorrow with a host of “Celebrity Rehab” cameras in tow. [TMZ]
- You knew this was coming: Bobbi Kristina Brown allegedly has a sex tape. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown’s daughter is going balls to the wall with bad decisions lately, isn’t she? [Media Takeout]
- Sorry, ladies (and gay dudes and “Bourne” fans), but Matt Damon has no plans to run for office. [Fox 411]
- Obviously, we all need to get Tinted Sheen, a Charlie Sheen browser blocker for your computer, post-haste. [Buzzfeed]
- Ke$ha is distributing 10,000 condoms with her face on them. Of course she is. [Huffington Post]
- Isiah Mustafa, the Old Spice guy, promises he’s single and not dating Kathy Griffin. There’s hope for me yet! [Eonline.com]
- James Franco tweeted pics of himself hanging out with model Agyness Deyn. Apparently, his six-year-long relationship with his girlfriend, Ahna O’Reilly, recently ended. [Oh No They Didn't!]
- Wal-Mart is producing some family friendly television programming. I can’t wait to watch. Setting my TiVo ASAP. [Huffington Post]
- Ryan Reynolds might be dating German model Agnes Fischer (who looks a helluva lot like Anna Kournikova, right?). [The Superficial]
- Miley Cyrus is sending “coy text messages” to Kings of Leon’s Jared Followill. He’s 24, she’s 18. Do I smell a Taylor Swift/Jake Gyllenhaal redux? [Oh No They Didn't!]
- Conservative wackadoodle Chuck Norris thinks public schools are too gay. Eye roll. [Dlisted]
- Rihanna isn’t interested in being in the remake of “The Bodyguard.” “Absolutely not,” she said. “I hate it when singers do singing movies all the time.” [Oh No They Didn't!]
- How much do I love Lourdes Leon (Madonna’s teenage daughter) for accessorizing with a “Harry Potter” beanie? [Daily Mail UK]
- Take a gander inside Kate Moss’ amazing London home! It’s on the market, folks. [Styleite]
- I will knock Kate Middleton down and steal this coat she is wearing. [Just Jared]
- How cute is Raven Symone’s natural hair? Also, the look on her face standing next to Mickey Mouse is priceless. [Young, Black & Fabulous]
- Would you believe these shoes are made from recycled plastic? [Racked]

