Finally, I Can Be A Mermaid!

Mermaids are real and they’re being interviewed on “20/20″! Hannah Fraser and Linden Wolbert seem to have achieved my childhood dream of becoming professional mermaids. Yes, they get paid to undulate. After I saw “Splash” in 1985, I was determined to become a sea goddess. I got my butt-length brown hair permed (my mom refused to let me dye it blonde) and practiced swimming the length of my pool with a one of those colored rings around my feet as if I had a fin. It got old once I had mastered it. I needed an actual fin and some gills to get to the next level. I thought my dream was dead.

Thanks to Hannah and Linden, it all seems possible again. There are more sophisticated options available to me should I want to continue my pursuit of mermaiding. I can actually purchase a custom-made latex tail from a Mertailor or learn how work my fin properly at mermaid camp. Now I just have to get over my fear of sharks and learn how to swim 50 feet below the sea without an oxygen tank. [The Hairpin]