Why I Like Being Called A Slut In Bed

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I get called a “slut” all the time. My friend Ashley calls me a slut like it’s my name: “Slut!” The Frisky staff calls each other sluts when we divulge our sexual escapades. Internet commenting trolls call me a slut fairly regularly (and a “bitch”, and a c-word, and plenty of other foul things). I call myself a slut, like, say, last week when I hooked up with a dude on the first date. A lot of 20-something women are used to being called a slut in some area of their lives, in every situation from “haha, just kidding” with our friends or (cool) co-workers to more serious areas, like when it’s hurled at us by a catcaller. “Slut” is one of those female-centric words — like “bitch,” like “feminist” — that can mean so many things that it almost means nothing anymore. Except, it turns out, in bed. My brain is my biggest sex organ. As much as I love the tactile and the tangible, the easiest way to turn me on is to whisper really filthy words in my ear, give me an erotic story to read, or talk dirty. For as politically correct as I may be outside of the bedroom, nothing offends me in coitus. The c-word? The p-word? Slut? Modifiers to those words are fine, too: ignorant slut, lazy slut, spoiled slut. The more creative the better!

But I mentioned to some friends how hot it is when guys talk dirty to me and it turns out some women really, really hate it.

One friend said she didn’t mind being called “naughty” or “bad” in bed, “there’s something about the word slut in particular that might take me out of the moment.” In other words, dirty talk is OK but the word “slut” is going too far. Another friend said she would never want to be called a “slut” in bed or any other type of dirty talk involving curse words. “I’m very sensitive to words,” she explained. And still another friend said it would really bother her if a boyfriend called her a “slut” in bed, but she used to hook up with a guy she didn’t have feelings for who called her a “slut” (in edition to other dirty talk) and she was fine with it. The only problem, she said, is “he basically couldn’t come unless he was stringing together a thousand different filthy words,” she said. “It got old after awhile.”

Could it be that some women are so used to the disrespectful, belittling connotations of “slut” outside of the bedroom that it’s unpalatable for them to hear it inside the bedroom? Is it impossible for some women to take words that would sting if used in real life and turn them upside down in fantasy play? Why, then, am I OK with it?

Knowing what’s wrong/forbidden/outre ultimately makes me more attracted to it and in turn, it turns me on. Sometimes I wonder if the more taboo something is, the more sexual it becomes to me. Even if I don’t exactly know what the definition of “slut” means anymore, I know I’m not one and I know I am one in just the right doses that it gets me all worked up when a man whispers it to me. (Of course, it has to come in the right packaging.)

I don’t know why I’m wired this way. All I know is I am wired this way and when it comes to dirty talk in bed that would be inappropriate in many occasions out of bed, I’m apparently in the minority. Though given how much it turns me on, I can’t imagine why!

Ladies, do you like being called a “slut” in bed? Why or why not? And gentlemen, have you ever called a woman a “slut” in bed? What happened? If you’ve never said it before, why haven’t you?

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