30 Things I Love About Being Single Right Now

Back when I was in a relationship, there were a few things I missed about being a single girl. I had been in a great relationship with myself for two years and for all the pleasures of having a boyfriend, I also missed some parts of my former life. Now that I’m Jessica, Party of One, again, I think it’s time to revisit some of the single girl stuff I have to celebrate…

1. I have the whole bed all to myself.
2. No one makes a face when I bite my fingernails. (Although really, I should stop doing that.)
3. I’m eating eating less meat because I barely ever cook it for myself.
4. No one is scratching their balls and then touching the remote control/fridge door/pillows. At least, I don’t think anyone is.
5. Lots of uninterrupted vibrator time.
6. I don’t feel guilty about the smell when I paint my nails.
7. Not washing anyone else’s laundry or dishes!
8. I don’t have to worry about being cheated on because there is no one to cheat!
9. When I wear sweatpants to bed, no one complains about it.
10. “The Millionaire Matchmaker” can play for an entire hour without anyone whining.
11. Who cares how hairy my legs and armpits are? Not me.
12. I’m the only one using my expensive shampoo and conditioner.
13. I made out with a cute guy on a date last week and I really like him!
14. No more roommates I don’t get along with.
15. I feel more kinship with other single women — Frisky staff what what!
16. I’ve seen more of my sisters, my nieces, my nephew and my parents than I have in the whole two years that I was in a relationship.
17. I can blog about whatever I want regarding my personal life and no one will ask me to explain it later.
18. Weekends are for me and my family, not anyone else’s.
19. The next time I go to the movies, I’m almost decidedly seeing a chick flick.
20. I wake up when my alarm clock goes off without someone pressuring me to hit snooze and give them a little somethin’-somethin’.
21. Lipstick, lip gloss and lip balm actually stay on my lips now.
22. Spending about half as much on coffee, seeing as I’m not offernig to buy it for someone all the time.
23. Sleeping with my childhood teddy bear again … without shame.
24. Don’t have to share the iPad (or as we used to call it, “the baby”) with anyone.
25. Flirting without guilt.
26. My parents’ dog doesn’t have anyone to embarrass me in front of by trying to hump his leg.
27. Deepening friendships and making new friends with all my free time.
28. I don’t have to shower as much.
29. No one has asked me why I need so many shoes, clothes, books, magazines, or TV shows in the TiVo queue. I just do, OK?
30. NO FOOTBALL!