For Valentine’s Day, instead of waiting for love letters that’ll never come — who sends those anymore, anyway? — we decided to practice a little self-love in the name of St. Valentine by writing them to ourselves. We invite you to do the same in the comments. Yesterday Amelia shared hers and today is Jessica’s turn…
If anyone needs a love letter right now, it’s you, girl! The last six weeks have turned your life upside down. I know that being dumped by the boyfriend you expected to spend the rest of your life with caused you a great amount of pain. You feel rejected, insulted, embarrassed, and confused – often all at once. There are nights you wake up, stare into the darkness not yet fully conscious, and you wonder if everything that’s happened is just a bad dream. I know being asked to move out of the apartment you shared and moving back in with your parents makes you feel like you have taken a step back in life. Sometimes you feel like a loser for being a 26-year-old woman still asking Mom and Dad for permission to borrow the car. I know there have been many, many moments during these past six weeks — in the middle of winter, no less — where you feel that familiar hollowness inside you, that numbness that surpasses pain, that leeches color from your life and shuts you off from the world.
I’m here to tell you that isn’t going to happen again. You know for a fact it gets better. You know for a fact this too shall pass. If there’s one thing I know about you, girl, it’s that you are one strong motherf**ker. Your strength is one of the things I love about you the most. I love that you don’t let the things that have happened to you in the past cripple you. I love that you learn from your mistakes. I love that you can see other people’s weaknesses and not judge them for it, but know you can’t help them and that only they can help themselves. I know one day you’ll find a man who doesn’t need you to be strong for the both of you. But in the meantime, I hope you know your strength is an asset that you should highly value and not something you should give away to just anyone who asks.
You’ve spent too much of your life not valuing yourself enough. (You had to learn that lesson the hard way a few years ago.) So let me remind you all the reason that you’re a freaking rock star superhero bitch:
You love fully and intensely and you try to be fearless with that love. You know what you want and you ask for it. You try to do the right thing by people. You’re confident in your attractiveness but not a snob about it. You’re a good sister, daughter, aunt and friend. You fight harder for other people than they fight for themselves. You don’t have much to give, but what you do have, you give generously. When you’re in a relationship, you spoil the other person. You stand up for yourself. You call other people on their s**t. You don’t kiss ass. You have worked really, really hard to get where you are in your career today. You have more compassion and empathy for others than most anyone you know. You are opinionated, smart and you’re willing to have a dialogue with people who you disagree with and see if they can change your mind. You’re cultured and well-read. You have a dirty mind and dirty sense of humor. Sometime you can be really f**king funny. And you’re never, never boring.
Someone noticed these attributes and he loved them. Someone else will notice and love them again. But what’s most important right now is that you notice them and you love yourself.
And you know what I love most about you? You do.