20 Valentine’s Day Gifts It Would Suck To Receive

From anxiety over one’s relationship status (or lack thereof), to figuring out a non-lame way to celebrate, Valentine’s Day, more than any other occasion, has the power to elicit panic in even the most reserved, well-tempered individuals. Perhaps the most nerve-wracking experience of the whole occasion is choosing an appropriate gift, one that sends just the right message without inadvertently offending anyone in the process. Worse than the stress in choosing a perfect gift, though, is the disappointment in receiving one that totally sucks. After the jump, 20 Valentine’s Day gifts we hope you don’t get stuck with this year.

  1. Weight Watchers membership
  2. A copy of “He’s Just Not That Into You”
  3. Any kind of stuffed animal that talks or sings when you press a plastic heart on its chest
  4. A pink slip from your boss
  5. Divorce papers
  6. Those cutlet bra inserts that make your boobs look a lot bigger than they actually are
  7. A gift card to McDonalds
  8. A poke on Facebook
  9. A DVD set of “Murder She Wrote”
  10. A framed autographed poster of Ed McMahon
  11. Leftover Halloween candy
  12. A rash
  13. A gift certificate for a chest wax
  14. Anything by Cuisinart
  15. Socks with hearts on them
  16. Ties with hearts on them
  17. A very small coffee mug that says “Size Doesn’t Matter”
  18. A copy of “Sex For Dummies”
  19. Unsolicted advice
  20. A Santa snow globe