Oh Noes! Ladies Are Losing Their Lady-Skills Like Cooking And Cleaning!
Whatever will the menfolk do?! Us modern hussies not only paint our lips and wear britches, but we’re losing our valuable lady skills too. There’s a study out of the Courier-Mail newspaper in Australia about how women under 30 are losing “female” skills, like cooking, cleaning and sewing. Only 20 percent of women under 30 surveyed said they could bake a cake and only 51 percent could cook a roast. Women of the Baby Boomer generation, however, said 85 percent could cook a roast and 45 percent could bake a cake.
I have never in my life needed to bake a cake or cook a roast. You know what? I don’t care to learn. But here is a list of more modern “womanly” skills the women of The Frisky do possess, which are a helluva lot more important: JESSICA:
- I’m fairly decent at painting my own nails.
- I can walk in high heels … up six flights of stairs …. while carrying my own groceries.
- I can make lamb and date meatballs, corn pesto, eggs Benedict and frittatas.
- I give good head. (Sorry, but it’s true.)
- I know how to change a tire (even though I’ve never done it).
- I don’t cry when my upper lip or bikini line is waxed. Usually.
- I’m a good flirt.
- I can get a stain out of most things.
- I can trim my own bangs.
- I can cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner all by myself.
- I can keep a plant alive for years (the palm I have in my apartment is about four-years-old).
- I can put together all my own furniture without assistance.
- I can take apart my vacuum cleaner in order to replace the belt.
- I can swaddle a baby and change a diaper.
- I can give an even better blow job than Jessica.
- I am great at taking care of people when they’re sick.
- I can teach a guy to sew a button on a shirt, so he doesn’t have to keep asking me.
- I can apply makeup in less than five minutes.
- I can give good you’re-being-an-idiot eyes.
- I can pay my bills on time.
- I can find a job.
- I can multi-task.
- I can find a reasonably-priced cocktail dress.
- I can keep my cool in stressful situations
What other modern lady skills do you have other than cake baking and roast making? (And, hey, if you do know how to bake a cake or make a roast, maybe you can come by the Frisky offices and teach us spinsters a thing or two.) [Guyism]