Woman Claims Yogurt Sample Tasted Like Semen

Hello. Are you eating? Maybe stop for a second. Especially if you are eating yogurt. So, a woman in Albuquerque, New Mexico, called the police because she said a yogurt sample she was given at her local grocery store “tasted like bodily fluids” aka semen. Police arrested Sunflower Market employee Anthony Garcia, 31, on outstanding bench warrants, but are currently conducting lab tests on the yogurt in question to find out if it does indeed contain ejaculate — or just tastes like it. Speaking of…Question: how exactly would one describe the taste of semen? I took a moment after reading this story to ruminate on my own experience with the stuff and really couldn’t find the right words. This is likely because, well, I never actually allow it to tap dance on my taste buds for very long because it is disgusting. Indeed, yogurt it is not. Coppery? Bleach-like? Ugh, I don’t know.

Anyway, I’ll be following this story closely with updates to follow. Now, back to your breakfasts! [UPI]