Charlie Sheen Hospitalized For Hernia After 36-Hour Bender With Porn Stars

Welcome to this week’s installment of “Charlie Sheen Is STILL A F**ked Up Douchebag!” Early yesterday morning, the “Two and a Half Men” star was rushed to the hospital complaining of stomach pain, which TMZ says is the result of a hiatal hernia. Now, before you start thinking this is just a simple story, may I remind you that this is Charlie Sheen we’re talking about so of course, hernia or not, there’s gotta be hookers and blow involved. Well, not hookers this time, but porn stars. Sheen was apparently on a 36-hour bender that involved a briefcase full of cocaine being delivered to his house and three hours spent regaling one of his porn star guests with his — I’m sure highbrow — critique of the XXX films playing on his TV. Apparently, she was impressed by his vast knowledge of the genre. Sometime after that, Charlie allegedly started complaining of stomach pain and one of his guests called a neighbor’s house and told them about the situation. That neighbor? Adrienne Maloof! Yeah, Adrienne from “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” She’s the one who placed the 911 call that landed Sheen in the hospital. If only Bravo’s crew had been filming that night!

Anyway, it’s clear that Sheen needs help for more than just a hernia and he’s been given a pass for far too long. But before the law eventually comes down — hopefully hard — on him, I’d like an opportunity to scratch off a new addition to my personal bucket list. I would like to spend an evening hearing Sheen critique porn. It’s gotta be way more interesting than “Two and a Half Men,” that’s for sure. [TMZ]

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