After my recent breakup, 95 percent of the comments that people have made to me have been loving, supportive and wonderful.
And then there were the ones that were not. Well-meaning? Sure. But not helpful.
One person, for instance, called my Asian ex-boyfriend a “fortune cookie-roller.” Racism? Not helpful. One of my girl friends read his Facebook page and proceeded to tell me all the books and movies he likes that signify he’s a loser. Dissing the man I (still) love? Not helpful.
After the jump, 11 more things you should think twice, and then three times, about saying to a woman who has just been dumped.
- “He was probably gay.” Trust me. He’s not.
- Trashing his appearance, his job, or his taste in music/literature/movies. You know, I did love the guy.
- “I always hated [his name here]!” Really? You couldn’t have mentioned that while we were dating?
- Moaning about how the breakup is so upsetting to you. Sorry, but I don’t want to hear it.
- “You have such bad luck with men. Maybe you should try a woman next time?”
- Name-calling. While every recently dumped woman can appreciate a friend who calls her ex a “douchebag,” some of the comments people make when theyr’e trying to be helpful are just unkind.
- “Oh, we always liked him! Can you still be friends?”
- “You’re way too good for him anyway.” Um, then why did I just get dumped?
- “It’s his loss.” I mean, technically it is. But something about it feels dismissive of my loss.
- Suggestions on how to trash his stuff. Dude, don’t give me any ideas.
- “What did you do?”
What insensitive comments have you heard from well-meaning friends or family after a breakup? Share us your wost stories in the comments!