Trailer Park: “The Dilemma,” “The Green Hornet,” “Barney’s Version,” “Every Day,” “Burning Palms”

I know a movie wouldn’t be interesting if it was about a marriage where neither part wanted to cheat on the other, but what’s with the movies this week? They’re all about sordid people doing their sordid deeds, seemingly unaware of the destruction they bring to their loved ones. I guess this is how Hollywood plans on warming us up for Valentine’s Day? After the jump, this week’s new movies.

The Movie: “The Dilemma”
The Trailer: Ronny Valentine (Vince Vaughn) and Nick (Kevin James) have been best friends since college and launched an auto design firm together in adulthood. Then one day, Ronny spots Nick’s wife Geneva (Winona Ryder) making out with a young hottie (Channing Tatum) and can’t figure out how to tell his buddy the truth.
The Hitch: I love Vince Vaughn and will forgive almost everything he does. I also love Jennifer Connelly from her “Labyrinth” days. This is why I’m not going to say their new movie looks kinda meh, because it’s got some funny moments in the trailer and smart people (including Ron Howard) on board, so I’m sure it’s just my imagination.

The Movie: “The Green Hornet”
The Trailer: Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) is the son and heir to LA’s largest newspaper fortune and naturally became a spoiled playboy who’s done nothing with his life. When his father mysteriously dies, he meets one of his dad’s employees, Kato (Jay Chou), and they realize they can help each other out and decide to become heroes, posing as villains. Britt takes on a new secretary (Cameron Diaz) who helps them find the biggest bad guy, Benjamin Chudnofsky (Christoph Waltz), who has united all the gangs and is out to take down Reid’s alter ego, Green Hornet.
The Hitch: I’ve been told that producers randomly made it 3D at some point even though it’s not really in 3D. And I think Seth Rogen is a truly funny guy. But maybe, like Samson before him, his power was in (not his hair) but in his belly and now that he’s lost the weight, the funny has run off too? I hope this isn’t the case, but this movie does not encourage me.

The Movie: “Barney’s Version”
The Trailer: Barney Panofsky (Paul Giamatti) is a Montreal soap opera producer whose search for love spans 35 years, over three wives (Rosamund Pike, Minnie Driver and Rachelle Lefevre) and a level of whiny neurosis that could put Woody Allen to shame.
The Hitch: This is going to make me sound like a jerk, but I have a hard time watching people who are simultaneously entitled, unpleasant and unattractive. But this isn’t about me, it’s about Barney and Mordecai Richler’s novel which the movie is based on. And the movie looks like it might be a good one.

The Movie: “Every Day”
The Trailer: Dad (Liev Schreiber) is stressed out over sexual temptation, which isn’t helped by the fact that he’s a writer on a raunchy TV show. Mom (Helen Hunt) is stuck caring for her mean father and gay son who just came out. Dad’s sexy colleague propositions him and his marriage is about to crack under the strain.
The Hitch: Bum-out central up in here. I love watching things about TV writers because it’s my dream job and I love Liev and Hunt, so perhaps I can bear the inevitable depression.

The Movie: “Burning Palms”
The Trailer: Five stories in five Los Angeles neighborhoods simultaneously brew, exploring every angle of taboo, framed as a graphic novel which has come to life. The characters (which include Paz Vega, Zoe Saldana, Rosamund Pike, Shannen Doherty, Nick Stahl and Dylan McDermott) careen towards their own disasters.
The Hitch: I’m not sure where this movie came from, but I’m very intrigued. Maybe it’s because I’ve very recently accepted the fact that I love Los Angeles after living here for two years, but there is some kind of magic here that makes supremely weird (and not always pleasant) things happen every day.