You’ll Never Look At An Adorable Animal The Same Way Again

Comedian/badass Eliza Skinner has started the world’s most hilarious Tumblr blog ever: Nasty Cute. Eliza takes adorable animals and gives them the most disgustingly awesome internal monologues. For instance, find out what she thinks this lil’ hamster furball would say, after the jump…

“Uh, yeah, you want this, baby? Yeah? You like it? I bet you do. You see me work that water bottle, baby? That’s what I want to do to you: wrap my tiny claw-like paws around you and nibble-suck you until I am no longer thirsty. Oooooh, baby you make me feel so naughty. I’m a bad, bad hamster. I chewed that toilet paper roll all up, so I don’t have a toilet paper roll anymore. My action is my own punishment. Yeah, ooooh. Baby, I will work so much harder to please you. I know I’m not the thinnest hamster, and I’m sure you noticed that my mother chewed my left foot off before they separated her from us, so I know you’re not here because I’m a beauty queen. You’re here because you know I’m a freak, baby. Yeah! Plus I’ll let you titty f**k me with a Capri Sun straw.”

Sorry, I’m laughing too hard to say something witty. Eliza Skinner, you rule!