This weekend I saw “Blue Valentine” for the second time — and there probably will be a third viewing, so just deal! — and I was struck, again, by a moment in the movie when Ryan Gosling’s character, Dean, picks out a song for he and Cindy, played by Michelle Williams. “I got us a song, like our song, that would just be for you and me,” he says. “Because everybody’s got songs, but they’re lame and they all share them, you know, it’s disgusting. Not us. We have our own song.” That song is Penny & the Quarters’ “You and Me” and, I’m not gonna lie, I sort of want to steal it for myself and the future Mr. Amelia, whoever he may be. I’ve always been rather romantic when it comes to couples and songs, or the songs I associate with people I’ve felt romantic about. The guy I was super in love with in college once played me G. Love & Special Sauces’ “Gimme Some Lovin’” on the guitar after one of our little trysts and even though I think G. Love is super lame, I love that song as a result and will forever associate it with that time in my life where I loved a boy who didn’t quite love me back. I also can’t hear the song “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd without thinking of him too.
My ex-fiance and I didn’t have a song at all — music wasn’t something we shared a common interest in, but when I was planning our wedding (we only made it to the early stages, thankfully), I decided that I wanted to walk down the aisle to Queen’s “You’re My Best Friend.” Queen is my favorite band and I adore that song and I thought it suited our relationship, which was so much about friendship. I also wanted our first dance to be to Van Morrison’s “Into The Mystic” because I love the line, “I want to rock your gypsy soul.” After we broke up, I still felt strongly about the music I had envisioned for this wedding and I realized I had picked stuff that was more about me and my fantasy of a relationship than us. Someday I hope to have songs that do fit an “us.”
All of this rambling brings me to the question I’ve meant to ask — do you and your significant other have a song?