What To Expect From This New Season Of “Jersey Shore”

Crap, another season of “Jersey Shore” is on air already? Weren’t they just in Miami last week? (Oh, wait, that was the New Year’s Eve “Jersey Shore” marathon that I watched.) For the third season, the gang is back in Seaside Heights, NJ. You have to hand it to these crazy kids that their livers are still functioning! Let’s see what we can expect from the season ahead of us…

This is what we learned from the trailer:

  • Snooki’s friend Deena has moved to the shore house. Like Snooki, she’s 4-foot-tall with unnaturally tan skin. (I would have preferred Ryder, who I always thought was a less-pretty Taylor Swift, but whatever.) This class act strips for The Situation and shows him her lady parts on the very first night. Girl, if you were gonna show someone your goodies, why’d you go for the biggest douchebag in the household?
  • Snooki gets wasted in broad daylight … and then gets arrested.
  • JWoww screams at her boyfriend and slams down the duck phone repeatedly. But what else is new?
  • Sammi gets in another screaming match with the other girls in the house and she and JWoww throw fists again. Actually, it’s more like hair-pulling and fake nails. But it’s still kind of scary because I get the feeling if one of the guys doesn’t step in and pull them apart, JWoww is aggressive enough to really hurt her.
  • Sammi punches Ronnie in the face, packs up her stuff and leaves, reportedly after Ronnie’s cheating/lying/douchebaggery appeared on air last summer. As much as I don’t condone violence, especially not domestic violence, part of me thinks, “Finally!” when she actually lashes out at him instead of just eating up his lies like an idiot. Looks like she actually has a backbone after all. Sorry, girl, but you were fairly warned by The Infamous Note.

And from the New Year’s Eve sneak peek we learned:

  • Deena seems kind of annoying.

Hey, don’t worry if you miss “Jersey Shore”‘s season three premiere tonight … or the whole season. Rest assured, a pouf-less Snooki thinks the cast could go on and do this their whole lives.