My Day In The Life Of Man Mags

There was an entertaining piece in Glamour about the editor-in-chief’s hubby spending a day doing what he sees in lady mags and blogging all about his adventures. Naturally, he started his day by slipping into a pair of jeggings. He refers to them as “junderwear.” His poor junk. Mr. Lady Mag also experimented with carrying his cat in his purse, going vegan, obsessing about his abs, and, of course, spicing it up in the sack. That got me thinking, what would my day look like if I let men’s mags be my guide? Find out, after the jump …

  • When I step out of the shower, I decide to try some manscaping. The ladies love a trimmed lawn!
  • I slip into my 100-percent wool pea coat that hits below my suit jacket but above my knee to keep me warm and look stylin’. It’s the only thing I bought this season. One smart purchase is all I need. Don’t worry, I didn’t forget my boxer briefs with the button fly that my lady can undo with her teeth later.
  • A 10 egg-white omelet and frequent trips to the gym to pump iron (high weights, low reps) should kick-start my quick muscle-building regime.
  • On my lunch break, (I eat bacon — just bacon), I spend an insane amount of time perfecting my fantasy football team. With five minutes to spare, I cruise the web to find out more about this alleged “G Spot.” Maybe if I find it, I can show her my list of the pros of anal sex?
  • After work, I stop off and buy my lady a silk thong to let her know I want her. She’s been acting jealous and insecure lately. This is the perfect remedy. I’m not sure what size she wears. Buying her a small will make her feel thinner, right?
  • When I get home, I pour myself a fine, aged whiskey in a snifter. I’m switching from beer. I do the dishes as foreplay. Then I gaze deeply into my woman’s eyes in order to connect with her.
  • Once I am sure we’ve connected after 60 seconds or so, I hand her the silk thong and ask if she’d like to make a homemade porno flick. When she storms off and slams the door, I give her some space while I watch sports. Wait! I’m confused? What’s she so upset about?