• Relationships

Dear Wendy Updates: “Forgotten Birthday Girl” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Forgotten Birthday Girl,” who was anxious that her boyfriend may not get her anything for Christmas just as he had “forgotten” her birthday months before, and wondered whether she should get something for him for the holidays. After the jump, find out if they’re still together and whether either of them got gifts from each other this Christmas.

Thank you so much for responding to my letter and telling me what I needed to hear. After being told by so many people that I shouldn’t let the birthday thing go and that it was a horrible sign, I couldn’t help but wonder if they were right. But after writing to you I realized that there was quite a bit I left out, though I’m not sure if it would change the advice you gave me. I was very happy with my relationship when I wrote to you (still very much am) but in the two months around my birthday, I wasn’t at all due to how he was treating me and the lack of any sort of interest he showed towards me. In the month before the belated birthday dinner, he bailed on me every time I tried to go out with him for one reason or another, and failed to show any sort of respect or affection towards me, making me feel like I meant nothing to him and leaving me getting ready to MOA (which I was told to do). For some reason that I’m still unsure of though, I didn’t. So, when my birthday came around and still nothing from him, not even a “happy birthday” just a “I forgot” I felt even worse and confused, and hoped that when he took me out the next week that he’d make up for it, but that didn’t happen since he tried to bail on me again.

About three weeks later, things slowly started getting better and he soon became the boyfriend I fell in love with again. I realize now though that his not buying me anything for my birthday didn’t matter to me as much as I thought it did; it was how I felt during those two months that still bothered me, and when I thought of my birthday, the feeling of being neglected by him for that time came rushing back. I realized this after I reevaluated my relationship like you advised me to do so, and once I realized it, I was able to not only let go of the emphasis on the presents, but also move on from that time in our relationship. He has since shown himself to be a true gentleman and has proven that I made the right decision in not breaking up with him at that point in our relationship.

For Christmas, I decided to buy him a very nice watch and when he asked what I wanted, I told that I wanted him to save his money and not worry about buying me anything. He ended up getting me some flowers, chocolate, and a card, which I loved. Sure, my Christmas didn’t turn out to be as amazing as it could have been, but I am very happy now to not only move on from something that had bothered me for far too long, but also to be able to appreciate my boyfriend for everything he’s worth. So to you and those who commented, I can’t thank you enough for helping me do so.

Glad to hear this story had a happy ending (or happy “continuing,” I guess I should say). Thanks for the update and have a happy New Year!

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