White House Bans Shirtless Photos Of President Obama

Barack Obama will not be your Matthew McConaughey. (Dammit.) The White House has delivered “strict instructions” to the press pool not to use telescopic lenses to photograph the president on his vacation in Hawaii. Why must they protect his privacy so? According to The New York Times, the White House doesn’t want any “sneaky attempts to take pictures of a shirtless leader of the free world.” No shirtless Obama photos? Whaaaaat?President Beefcake Obama surely knows that too much attention to his handsome appearance could gain him the same kind of insulting “Breck Girl” nickname it gained Sen. John Edwards. When a yummy shirtless pic of Obama landed on the cover of Washingtonian magazine last year, that was the beginning and end. (Thanks for ruining it, guys.) This August Obama took a dip in the Gulf Coast to prove it was safe enough to swim in post-BP oil spill and his handlers took similar pains to keep his supple six-pack from his lustful public. “The White House photographer captured him swimming with his daughter Sasha – and released a picture showing the president in the water, but only from the neck up,” reports the Times.

Sigh. Guess we’ll just have to wank off to that Washingtonian, ladies — or go across the aisle and hope Scott Brown does Cabo soon! [Styleite via New York Times]