Dear Wendy Updates: “Lost In Limbo” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Lost in Limbo,” who had been seeing a guy for two months who told her he “doesn’t really do the girlfriend thing” when she asked where they stood. “Where we are is fine for now, since we’ve only been seeing each other for two months,” she wrote, “but I’m worried that he won’t want to make me his girlfriend ever.” After the jump, find out where things stand now — whether she’s single, still in limbo, or if her dude stepped up.

First, I would like to say thank you for responding to my dilemma in a straightforward and honest manner. It shook me back to reality, and made me realize that I was far more invested in the relationship than I should have been. Therefore, I backed off from my law student, and decided it wasn’t worth the heartache. In a surprising turn, he realized I was pulling away, and quickly changed his tune. He asked why I wasn’t calling him, or seeing him, and I told him that I understand where he was coming from, but that I wasn’t about to put myself in a position to get hurt. He has been attentive ever since, even make a seven hour drive to my family’s house to surprise me a few days before Christmas, at which time he asked me to be his girlfriend. I’m being cautious, but it seems that my attempt to move on actually allowed me to be with the guy I want to be with. Thanks again! — Lost in Limbo (no more!)

People who say they don’t like “playing games” in relationships need to really study your situation. You didn’t play games. You simply stood up for yourself and quit settling for less than how you wanted to be treated. And look what happened! Game-playing is for children. But being your own best ally — watching out for yourself and mot letting anyone take you for granted is very much for grown-ups. Kudos for reminding us how it’s done.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”” title=””} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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