Dater X’s Best Posts Of 2010
While there are still a few days left in 2010, we’re going to feature some of our best and favorite posts from the last year. Each of your regular Frisky bloggers has picked out her 10 favorite posts from 2010—some you may remember well, others might have slipped past your radar. Either way, we hope you’ll relive the best of The Frisky in 2010. Here are some of the misadventures of Dater X! Shaking Off The Pressure To Kiss Someone On New Year’s Eve
Other NYEs, midnight approaches and you aren’t vibing with anyone. Sometimes, that’s fine, and you have a blast anyway. Other times, it can feel as if you’re playing a game of musical chairs, and as the music stops and everyone else settles into a seat, you are the one left plummeting towards the ground butt-first with nothing to catch your fall.
Casual sex is in some ways an oxymoron—there is nothing casual about sharing your body and your desires with someone. There is nothing casual about seeing and feeling someone orgasm, and vice versa.
For all of my life, until just a few years ago, I was overweight. I always felt like my exterior didn’t match my interior and landing a good-looking boyfriend who adored me, and whom I adored back, made me feel more … worthy.
I’d saved him a piece of the pecan pie I’d made for my family and, as I warmed it up for him, he said, “I can’t believe you saved me pecan pie. You know it’s my favorite, right?” He said this completely unaware that I’d been mentally cataloging all his likes and dislikes for years.
I’ve never been the kind of girl to wait for a guy to approach me. In many (most?) of my relationships, I’ve made the first move. I initiated my first kiss in third grade. And when I say “initiated,” I mean that I grabbed Stephen behind the neck on the playground, like I’d seen in movies, and planted one on him. I asked Brad to the junior prom. A few weeks later, I ran into Jason, a college guy whom I’d worked with at my after-school bookstore job until he quit in a huff, calling our boss a “toad.” I casually said to him, “We should go see a movie sometime.” We were together for the next four years. My second long-term relationship began when I grabbed a cute guy at a party a few years after college and asked if he’d accompany me on a run for more beer. We were inseparable for four years, too.
Sadly, cigarettes have been a big part of my life. I started smoking as a teenager—my first was a Benson and Hedges Ultra Light that my middle school best friend and I procured from a vending machine at the arcade in the mall. From the very first puff, I loved the way smoking momentarily loosened the grip on my always-spinning brain. By college, I was smoking a pack a day with my roommate in the dorm room our friends had nicknamed “The Smoky Chamber.” At my first job, I remember the joy of meeting my co-workers downstairs for a smoke break and gossip session. Cigarettes have seen me through many a breakup and given me a mental release from stress of all kinds.
After dating for a while, I’ve seen that, yes, there may be many fish in the sea, but there are a select few whom you like the taste of. And even fewer who will be happy about you sticking a hook in their mouth and yanking them out of the water.
Here’s what I have to say to people in relationships when talking to your single friends: Be understanding. Know that while single life is dotted with hot hookups under chandeliers in dimly lit bars, it can also can feel like a game of Hit the Mole where you are the one getting bopped on the head over and over.
The hazard of trying to find love online is that for every genuine email I get, I receive three that are bizarre, disturbing, or just plain drivel. So behold: the strangest messages I’ve gotten via online dating sites recently, with names deleted to protect the not-so-innocent.
Now, I’m looking at dating as a big matching game. I’m a green zebra, and since there are hundreds of tiles in play, I’m bound to turn over a lot of red koala bears and yellow crocodiles before I find another green zebra. And there’s nothing wrong with that!