Dear Wendy Updates: “Not A Replacement” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Not a Replacement,” whose boyfriend constantly compared her to his deceased ex — even going to so far as to tell her she kissed like his dead ex-girlfriend. I told her to MOA, but did she heed my advice? Find out after the jump.

Wendy, first of all thanks for the advice, though you must hate it when people ask for it and don’t use it. In that case, I have a pretty ridiculous update for you. I, unfortunately, went against your advice and my better judgment and I stayed with my boyfriend. I thought he could use someone to talk to and for comfort, and I liked his honesty. But, our relationship went downhill after I came back from an extended backpacking trip in Spain. He became even more clingy, made weird rude comments, and he even thought it would be a great idea to drive me to his old girlfriend’s grave site. Even still, I stayed with him through the awkwardness and erratic clingy behavior. And I found out he’d developed a heavy “need” for smoking pot. When I finally voiced my opinion and told him I needed to distance myself because of holiday stresses, work, and my lack of interest in him smoking so much he decided to dump me this week before Christmas. I can’t say I’m surprised or really hurt by it, though I guess being dumped is never a pleasant thing. It was definitely a lesson learned, and red flags are there for a very big reason. Being lonely or liking attention from a guy should never be a reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Big thanks to the people who commented, and of course to you, Wendy. I’ll be more prepared and observant next time.

Well, I’m sorry the relationship didn’t work out, but it sounds like the breakup was actually an early Christmas present — especially if you weren’t too surprised or hurt by it. And just think of how many people out there you may have helped with these words: “Being lonely or liking attention from a guy should never be a reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship.” Truer words have never been said, my dear.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

Follow me on Twitter and get relationship tips and updates on new Dear Wendy columns!