Dear Wendy Updates: “Not A Parent Pleaser” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Not a Parent Pleaser,” who wrote in this week about not getting along with her boyfriend’s parents. Read her response after the jump.

Hi, I thought I’d throw in some more info so you could understand a bit more. I feel bad that so many people saw attitude in my post. Also, I don’t know if I mentioned, but we’re 19. My boyfriend gives his mom about 80 percent of his paycheck to pay for the house and buy food and stuff. However, his mom still gets mad at everything he does in the house, or if he even tries to have some dinner after work. This really bothers me. They already fight all the time, usually having to do with money. I think this may be why he doesn’t try to get us to talk more, because when I’m not even there he doesn’t like to be around her much. My boyfriend asks permission for me to come over every time; however, since he pays for most of the house he feels like he shouldn’t have to. But with that being said, we plan to move out in the summer, despite the guilt trip his mother puts on him for ever moving out because they need his money. And as for his dad, he talks to me and we have good conversations. Along with his brother and sister, he likes me. So I guess I’m just feeling really confused about the mom thing.

Anyway, thanks for the response, I am going to put more effort into talking to her and maybe impressing her. (Also I’d like to mention that I’ve always been a kind and giving person all my life and since hearing responses … this is the first time I’ve been called a b**** and I’m sad people could give those sorts of names to people.)

Keep trying to engage your boyfriend’s mom and keep your eyes on the prize (his moving out this summer). If you think you could be long-term partners, it would behoove you to do as much as you are comfortable doing to foster a warm relationship with his mother … even if it means swallowing your pride. Hang in there.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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