11 Christmas Presents That Will Get Dudes Laid

Confused about what to get for the special lady in your life? Well, guys, after I warned you about the 19 Christmas presents that won’t get you laid, I felt it was only fair to tell you which ones will. If you wanna heat things up in the bedroom this winter, here are some presents that’ll make the holiday season sexy. And remember, gentlemen, it’s always better to give than to receive!

  1. Spa Package: After a day of relaxation, she’ll have one last place she’ll want massaged. Or, if you’re on a budget, you can get her a massage oil candle and DIY. Clearly, we’ll do whatever it takes to get a free massage.
  2. Surprise Trip: It doesn’t have to be to Hawaii! Even just an adorably planned day getaway will surely bring about some sexy times. But ideally, somewhere she can get in a bikini in the winter would be good!
  3. Jewelry: If you give her gold, she’ll certainly head to your family jewels.
  4. Tickets For Two: Any man who will take his best gal to the ballet or the opera is going to get a thank you that’s even more of a spectacle. If you’re going to get concert tix, make sure it’s a band she likes mores that you do. If it’s your fave, it’s NOT a present.
  5. Electric Blanket You might not see a return immediately, but some frosty winter night, when you want to get frisky, she won’t worry about getting nekked ‘cause she’s cold. If the electric blanket seems too far, some nice down will do too.
  6. Naughty Books: Basically, you’re giving her softcore porn. But the brain is the biggest erogenous zone. So, tap into her sexual fantasy and you’ll be tappin’ that ass! We recommend something like The Book Of Sexy Sex for funny nerds or The Burlesque Handbook, a how-to for exhibitionists. But be careful, do not get an instructional sex book or she’ll think you don’t like the way she works it, and then your gift will have the opposite effect.
  7. Sex Toys: Yeah, it’s a direct way of saying I want to get down and dirty. But, be sure it’s one she’d be interested in. Hey, it’ll at least get you a vibe show! Warning: Do not give it to her under the tree, save it for later. Duh!
  8. Mix Tape: A thoughtful selection of love songs will make her fall hard, especially if you slow dance to it with her.
  9. Big-Ticket Items: A new car! A boat! A house! Yeah, it’s crazy lavish, but if you can buy one, it will get you laid.
  10. Exactly What She Wanted: If you remembered that vintage ring or that little figurine she stared lovingly at in the store, but didn’t want to spend the money on, she’ll totally freak out. And then, things will get freaky …
  11. A Really Sweet Card: Seriously. I know it sounds cheeseballs, but If you write something uber appreciative and thoughtful in her card, she will want to blow your mind too.