• Relationships

Girl Talk: I Responded To A Missed Connection Ad

I’ve accomplished a few really great things in my life — losing 100 pounds, getting sober‚ but I’m not sure anything has been as personally satisfying as the day that I had a Missed Connection posted about me.

If you’re not familiar, Missed Connections is the section on Craigslist where dudes post about hot girls they saw but were too afraid to talk to, and vice-versa. The idea of being chosen, spotted out of all the rest as uniquely attractive and compelling is like a low-rent fairytale that takes place on the R train instead of in a castle.

Lamely, it was my own boyfriend who alerted me. Even though I tell everybody we met at an old job, we actually met on Craigslist, and we often send each other funny ads. Although Mr. Damned T-shirt described me as “sexy as hell” and claimed we’d been looking at each other a lot, my boyfriend didn’t seem particularly jealous.

And I’m not the only one who thinks so – the section has inspired a book, an illustration blog and the imaginations of countless women secretly envisioning themselves in romantic comedies while on their morning commutes.

Despite being happily coupled, I am OBSESSED with Missed Connections. For years, I’ve been scouring them, searching for keywords like “tall,” “tattoos,” and some of my more ubiquitous clothing items. I’ve clicked on ads describing “pretty brunettes” and “curvy cuties,” and even some with titles like “gorgeous model-type” and “breathtaking Target shopper” because, hey, I could be those things to somebody, you know.

After being continually disappointed, I had pretty much given up … when it happened. After all that time making eye contract with strangers and wearing distinctive hats, it really happened!

On the fateful day, I’d left the house in pigtails and vintage cat-eye glasses, only to be spotted by a guy on the R train in Brooklyn.

The post read: “R train at 8:45am this morning in Brooklyn. Me 5’11″, blue eyes, short light brown hair, black jeans, black DAMAGED t-shirt. I had headphones on, I was sitting down on an NTC bound R train. You tall, sexy as hell, glasses, a skirt, hair in a pigtails, tattoos, you also had headphones on. We were looking at each other a LOT … and I REALLY should have said hello! GET IN TOUCH.”

Lamely, it was my own boyfriend who alerted me. Even though I tell everybody we met at an old job, we actually met on Craigslist, and we often send each other funny ads. Although Mr. Damned T-shirt described me as “sexy as hell” and claimed we’d been looking at each other a lot, my boyfriend didn’t seem particularly jealous.

I actually think he was sort of psyched for me.

In fact, he was in full support of my desire to contact him. “I would,” he admitted.

I wasn’t going to actually meet up with the guy, of course, I just wanted to let him down easy. After all, the poor guy had clearly seen me and fallen deeply, irrevocably down the rabbit hole of love at first sight. I couldn’t just leave him hanging out there, wondering what had become of his dream girl after their eyes met on the subway.

After screenshotting the ad and sending it around to everyone I have ever met, I sent him an email reading, “Hi! I’m the girl from the R train this morning, and I saw your post. I’m in a committed relationship, but I’m totally flattered, and thanks for making my lifelong dream of popping up in the Missed Connections come true!”

Within five minutes I got a response reading, “Me too… I thought you were really hot. What’s your AIM?” My virtual Prince Charming turned out to be nothing but a scumbag with a girlfriend. Not only that, he continued to send me email messages graphically detailing the things he wanted to do to me for the next several months. I can assure you, his suggestions were not the stuff of fairy tales.

Considering this guy knew literally nothing about me except what I look like, I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that he was fixated on the physical. Somehow, I always imagined that it would be the book I was reading or my taste in vintage dresses that my missed connection would be admiring. Since that goes against anything I have ever learned about men ever, it seems kind of foolish in retrospect. A dude who likes your tits on the internet is the same dude who likes your tits at the bar on Friday night.

Just goes to show you that some connections are missed for a reason.

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