10 Reasons I’m Sad Scarlett Johansson And Ryan Reynolds Are Over

It’s been a year filled with celebrity breakups—from Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey to Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend. My theory is that once Courteney Cox and David Arquette called it quits, soon followed by Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman, the floodgate opened and now everyone is taking the opportunity to break up, from Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter to Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron. And then yesterday came the ultimate: Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds. This breakup hit me especially hard. After the jump, 10 reasons why.

  1. He was voted People’s Sexiest Man Alive. She was voted Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive. They were meant to be together.
  2. Now we’ll never get to see what the world’s most genetically superior children would have looked like.
  3. Because it was kind of awesome that they were the only Hollywood couple who avoided the paparazzi and weren’t in our faces all the time.
  4. I sort of liked what it said about Ryan that his serious relationships were with cool ladies like Alanis Morissette and Scarlett.
  5. Because their marriage helped U.S. and Canadian relations!
  6. Because of this quote from Scarlett: “I mean, you’re married and suddenly you have your own family. There’s a nice comfort in that. That part of your life is certain, in a way. You’ve got your home in that other person.”
  7. Because Ryan was so excited about adopting a brood with her.
  8. Because they had the most magical wedding in a remote wilderness retreat in Canada. Scarlett said, “There were bears and whales and eagles.” Shouldn’t whales at your wedding mean it will last forever?
  9. Because they will no longer be cameos in each other’s “SNL” skits.
  10. Now we’ll never get a photograph of the two of them together.