I try, try try my very hardest never to blow anyone off. I mean, being on the receiving end of a blow-off totally sucks, and I don’t take pleasure in hurting another person’s feelings. I believe that honesty is the best policy and if I need to break up with someone (romantically or otherwise), I try to give them a reason why, straight-up … well, most of the time. There are some instances when I feel perfectly justified in pulling the old duck and run. Find out what they are after the jump.
- Aggression. “Don’t poke the mad dog” is a motto I abide by. If someone is aggressive, emotionally or physically, talking to them about it will probably only provoke them. Run for cover. No explanation necessary for never returning phone calls/emails/texts ever again.
- Crossed Boundaries. If you’ve said to someone explicitly, “I don’t like it when you do/say [insert disrespectful thing here],” and they continue to do it anyway, don’t hesitate to fade away.
- Reciprocation. If a person doesn’t reciprocate on a regular basis, take a hint. I’m not talking about if they just had a baby, or a death in the family, or are super busy for a period of time. That happens to everyone. I’m talking they cancel plans multiple times, rarely return communication, don’t ever contact you. Don’t waste your time. They’re probably blowing you off.
- Sex Gone Wrong. One of the hardest things to recover from is a scarring, horrible sexual experience. If they gave you crabs, feel free to give them the cold shoulder. Or even if the encounter was just really awkward, unless you are a regular part of each other’s lives, go silently into that good night.
- It’s Not Them, It’s You. If your real explanation for why you don’t want to see them ever again is long-winded, complicated, and indicative of your own personal issues, it may not be worth the hassle of explaining it to them. Get yourself some help and get out of that emotional wheelchair. Leave that poor, functional person alone.
- They Just Don’t Get It. Some people are emotional idiots and at some point, after trying your darnedest, you’ll just have to give up. If this person doesn’t accept genuine apologies, is not open to talking about things and working them out, makes unreasonable demands without offering anything in return, or has already been asked never to speak to you again and they’re still not “getting it,” they’re probably never going to. Close your door and don’t let it hit them on the way out.
- You’re Scared. If they’ve said or done something that totally creeps you out, feel free to hit the deck. (See: dude I was thinking of meeting for a date until he accidently typed “Hey Strangler” as the greeting of an email instead of “Hey Stranger.” Or the guy who told me he couldn’t wait until I let him into my heart again — we’d only had one super casual date.)