Advice For Taylor Swift On Her 21st Birthday

Our little Taylor Swift is growing up and will be turning 21 on Monday. So what is she planning for her birthday? “I definitely want a winter-themed birthday — Christmas-themed,” she said. “And I’d really like to have it in my condo. I think that would be wonderful. … It’ll be cool that I’ll be able to go to a lot of concerts that my friends always go to and I sit at home because it’s 21 and over. Other than that, I don’t think I’m going to all of a sudden start being in love with the idea of going to a club.”

True, Taylor doesn’t look headed for party girl-dom. But still, there is so much we’ve learned since turning 21 that we wish someone had told us back then. After the jump, some tips for Taylor so that she can be a productive, legally-able-to-drink, member of society.

  • Two drinks gets you to the perfect tipsy. Three can often put you over the edge, so save it for special(ish) occasions.
  • Always get a little something to eat before after-work cocktails. Or else.
  • Putting songs on the jukebox and starting a dance party in a bar is awesome. Dancing on the bar—or tables or chairs, for that matter—isn’t.
  • Never order anything served in a martini glass unless you are sitting down. Spillage central.
  • Champagne and prosecco are the yummiest, but also bring on the worst hangover headaches.
  • Never underestimate the power of drinking a big glass of water before you go to bed.
  • If things ever go south with Jake Gyllenhaal, don’t automatically dismiss guys you meet in bars. However, know that if he asks for your number, it could possibly turn into a thing. If he asks to take you home, it’s a one-night stand.
  • Speaking of, let’s see you spot a cute guy but he’s with a girl. Don’t assume they’re attached. As a friend pointed out to me a while ago, couples rarely go to a bar together solo—they roll with friends. So the pair is probably just buds.
  • Learn a little bit about whiskey. It’s a lost art.
  • A Long Island Iced Tea is a drink only ordered by those under the age of 20 or on an episode of “Jersey Shore.” Pick a classier signature bevvy.