A few weeks ago, I wrote about all the things I love about loving women. A lot of commenters wrote that some of the things I listed can be found in straight relationships, too. This got me to thinking about what—if anything—I miss about being with dudes. Don’t get me wrong, it was a big relief to come out. But I did spent most of high school and even freshman year of college dating guys and sometimes it was really awesome. There are a few things about that time that make me nostalgic. Check out what I miss most, after the jump.
- Feeling small and dainty. At 5’1” I’m much shorter than the average dude and my relatively petite build makes me seem very little comparatively. I used to love the comfort and warmth I got from cuddling up to someone much bigger than me. With girls, it’s not like that. Although I’m usually shorter, I tend to go for the skinny ones. Since my current girlfriend weighs 20 pounds less than me, I’m more likely to squash her than feel protected by her tiny arms.
- Being rough. For me, nothing gets pent-up stress out like a little play fighting or wrestling. My longtime high school boyfriend and I used to throw down playfully all the time. My girlfriend and I tried it once. Things ended badly when she bit me. Guess some people just fight like, well, girls.
- Chivalry. I know some women think that guys who open doors and pull out chairs for women are basically giving feminism the middle finger. Let’s just say I totally disagree. Some things are best left alone, despite our modern day ideals, and chivalry is one of them. Unfortunately, my girlfriend opening doors for me does not induce butterflies or make me say “aww!” She usually only bothers when she gets there first. This is one of the few cases when equality makes things less cool.
- Being straight-up about my relationship status. No pun intended, but I do miss the days when the answer to the question “Do you have a boyfriend?” was either “yes” or “no.”
- Quick fights. Towards the end of my most serious heterosexual relationship, my boyfriend and I fought a ton. But if I wanted things to settle down, I could usually just call him up and say, “I don’t want to fight anymore.” As all of you who have ever gotten in a fight with your BFF know, it’s much more difficult to settle a fight with girls. The other night I made an offhanded remark to my girlfriend and immediately forgot about it. Apparently, it really upset her. She was still mad three days later.
- Feeling normal in public. No one ever catcalled, stared, made rude remarks or whispered to their friends went I kissed my boyfriend or held his hand in public. Well, actually they did because he had huge dreadlocks, two different colored eyes and a wardrobe full of ridiculous outfits. But you get my point.
- Nonthreatening first dates. When I went on dates with guys they never asked, “Are you sure you’re straight?” Or “How many guys have you been with?” Or “How long have you been straight?” Instead of putting me on trial, they asked about my job, school, interests, you know, general date stuff. The questions about finding myself came later—something that certain girls don’t seem to understand.
- Free drinks. Guys will usually put up the cash for alcohol for at least three dates. Maybe it’s because they’re trying to get laid, but I miss all the money I saved.
All that said, I totally dig being with chicks. But I’m curious about you. Straight folks, what’s your fave thing about the hetero life? And my gay peeps, is there anything you miss about being with the opposite sex? Tell me all about it!