Dear Wendy Updates: “Money Isn’t Everything” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Money Isn’t Everything” whose newish boyfriend felt uncomfortable with the amount and type of gifts she was giving him and his family. So, has she curtailed her gift-giving? Has he become more comfortable with her expressions of affection? Find out after the jump.

While it’s not really here nor there, I wanted to clarify that my boyfriend never really “rejected” my gifts. I just got a sense that his acceptance of them was tempered with some sort of displeasure, and it bothered me because I enjoy giving gifts. Since I wrote in for advice, a lot has changed — in a good way. I feel as though we’ve each come to understand a bit better what the other person wants and expects by being completely honest with one another. I asked him why he seemed a bit put off by my gift-giving. His response was logical and simple: he had never received gifts for “no reason” before, and at this time he is feeling very financially strained due to debts and an impending lifestyle change. I told him I understand, and that if he would feel better about it, I am way more than happy to only exchange gifts in the form of homemade things, activities, or thoughtful favors. All of the reader comments certainly left me wondering if there was some sort of inherent incompatibility between one person who really gets off on gifting and another who (seemingly) isn’t such a fan. True, we grew up in different environments, but share enough opinions and stories to create a healthy balance in our differences. When the underlying issues came to my attention — more fiscal than personal — I realized that it would be silly not to tone down my desires to buy him stuff until he is comfortable reciprocating. And until then, I am certainly looking forward to some awesome home-cooked meals and should probably brush up on my baking skills. This guy is beyond worth quelling my shopping impulses in order to make sure we’re on the same page.

Sounds great. Best of luck to you both. Just remember to keep things simple during the upcoming holidays!

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”” title=””} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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