A Scientific Study Of Who Is The Biggest Drunk On TV

Recently, The Daily Beast has kept a careful eye on the small screen, tallying the number of drinks imbibed during primetime television shows. No, they’re not conducting some parent watchdog study—they’re just trying to determine who’s the biggest drunk on TV. Kara Cutruzzula rewatched the entirety of season four of “Mad Men” to determine just how many drinks the folks at Sterling Cooper Draper Price consumed. Not surprisingly, Don Draper came out in the lead with 78 and a half drinks downed during the season. Of course, he does get the most screen time.

Now every week, Kara charts the bevs consumed on other TV shows—from “Gossip Girl” to “The Real Housewives of Atlanta“—to see if anyone can drink Don under the table. Based on this week’s count, it looks like Courteney Cox’s character on “Cougar Town,” Jules, is in contention. She’s had 18 drinks so far this season. (And during this week’s episode, another character apparently opined, “I think I’ll have some breakfast wine.”) Robin and Barney of “How I Met Your Mother” are also in the race. As is Cynthia of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” though I demand a recount because I swear NeNe has been knocking back far more than her.

Who, in the end, will win? Or, err, lose?